Carol J. (Hecht) Montgomery age 86 wife of W. Howard “Monty” Montgomery of East Vincent Township, PA died on Sunday May 16, 2010 in the Phoenixville Hospital.

She was born in Phoenixville a daughter to the late Albert and Emma (Sutter) Hecht.

Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery celebrated their 64^th wedding anniversary in December.

She was a graduate of Phoenixville High School and also West Chester University where she received a degree in Music Education. She taught music and many various schools in Delaware and Chester Counties. She also taught private Music Lessons such as the Piano and Voice Lessons, she was also a choir director for many years at various churches such as Bethel Methodist, Royersford Bible Fellowship and Faith Bible Fellowship. She was also a homemaker.

She is survived by four children: Cheryl Montgomery Harris retired Colonel of Maryland; Dennis, husband of Sarah Montgomery of Deltona, FL; and Neale E. Montgomery of Fort Myers, FL and Lisa A. Montgomery of Royersford, PA- also 3 grandchildren: Wendell F. Montgomery, Meryl A. Montgomery and Tara A. Taylor wife of Elisha Sunquist. She is preceded in death by two sisters.

Relatives and friends are invited to attend her funeral service on Friday May 21, 2010 at 11am at the Faith Bible Fellowship Church 25 Pennhurst Road Spring City PA with the Rev. Kevin Clineff officiating. Burial will follow in the Pughtown Baptist cemetery. Friends may Friday morning in church from 10-11am. The Shalkop Grace & Strunk Funeral Home is handling the arrangements. On line condolences may be made at sgsfuneralhome.com

It is difficult to encapsulate anyone’s life in a few short words. Since it can’t be done I will just highlight a few important facts.

1.  History

      It is helpful to provide a little history.  There was another man in my Mom’s life before my Dad.  It is safe to say that she adored her Dad, and he had a strong influence on her life.  He was smart, wise and a man of integrity.  He encouraged …expected her to attend college in a time when women with college degrees was not the norm.  She in turn expected all of us, as well as her grandchildren to attend college.

            There were things that her Dad gave her that she treasured, one was a beaver coat that was stolen when our house was burglarized.  From a fashion standpoint that was probably a plus, but it was never how the coat looked, it was the fact that it was a gift, a reminder. The weren’t able to steal the baby grand piano that sits in the living room and it remains as a persistent reminder of his generosity and his impact on her life.  He was a man who believed in taking care of his family, and his imprint on her life remained, just as her imprint will remain on our lives. My Mom believed that taking care of her family was important.

Please let me touch on some of the things that I hope will live on through us.

2.                  Appreciative

            My Mom was always appreciative of things that people did for her, even if it was their job.  She would slip a tip to the guide on the tour bus, send thank you cards, and wrap little gifts. Saying thank you was always important to her. She appreciated my Dad taking care of her mom after her stroke. She appreciated the fact that he continues to ensure that her niece is well taken care of. She appreciated Mary Beth taking care of her hair and working her into her schedule.  She appreciated the times she and Ruth made the holiday cake. She appreciated all the times that Lisa would take her shopping.  Whether it was the person who cleaned the pool, waited on her in a restaurant, or someone who held a door for her, she always said thank you.  She was always pleased when she heard Tara or Wendell or Meryl say thank you to people and show genuine appreciation.

3.                  Selflessness/Humility

            We all encounter people who are all about themselves.  The Bible submits that if you get credit or accolades here on earth, you won’t get credit in heaven.  All those things you do for yourself are hay, wood and stubble.  You build up crowns for yourself by the selfless things you do. My mom did a lot of things not because she wanted to, but because it was the right thing to do or she did it for someone else.  She made countless trips to the nursing home to see my grandmother over a span of years.  She made countless trips with me to Philadelphia for doctor’s visits.  All of us like to travel, but getting ready for trips was never the thing she liked to do best, but she did it anyway because we wanted to go. With four kids she was often a chauffer, a truly underappreciated job. She made special dinners for our birthdays and made cakes…from scratch. My choice was a white and silver angel food cake, for those of you who have checked out recipes for angel food cake that is no small feat.  I can’t tell you how many cupcakes she made with little jack-o-lantern faces...from scratch.   She liked special events.  I’ve encountered a lot of people who don’t think birthdays are a big deal -- birthdays, Christmas, vacations, were always a big deal.  It was a lot of work for her, more work than we probably realized, but she made a point of making special occasions….special.

4.                  Do Your Best and Do it Right

            I mention that she made cakes and cupcakes from scratch because that leads to another legacy, if you are going to do something she pretty much insisted that you should strive to do your best.  She was very emphatic about the fact that you shouldn’t do something halfway.  She didn’t really accept excuses. You could probably say she was a bit of a perfectionist.  For those of you who received cards you know that her handwriting was always perfect, and she really didn’t like it when her arthritis prevented her from being able to sign things perfectly.  All of us, including my Dad, received guidance, aka a lecture about the importance of doing your best and doing it right.  You never wanted to tell her it was good enough.

            She didn’t ask any of us to do something she didn’t do, she always strived to do her best which is part of the reason she could be a bit of a worry wart. If she was going to do something she wanted it done right.  We would…on occasion..tease her about her perfectionist tendencies…which would always result in a dissertation.

5. Bridges

            Some people build bridges and some people build walls.  There were plenty of occasions when people, including all of us, did things that didn’t make her happy.  She always made a point of making sure she didn’t destroy relationships, she always built bridges.  I think all of us on occasion suggested how she could put someone in their place and we giver her our thoughts on what she needed to say.  She didn’t take our advice. She had a vision of the long haul and knew how important it was to maintain good relationships.  She was the glue for our family, the grand central station of communications.

6.                  Music

            Many of you were touched by her love for music. She played the piano in church or led the choir for my whole life.  She would get a little stressed over every performance because, as noted above, she wanted to do it right and do her best.  I am sure there are some of you who can attest to that fact.

            Lerner and Lowe, Gilbert and Sullivan, Oscar and Hammerstein, the three tenors, Ferrante and Teicher are names that we grew up thinking everyone knew.  She thought it was important for all of us to read music…and be able to count. I needed the metronome more than most.  Lisa played the oboe, Cheryl played the organ, and she expected all of us to learn how to sing…properly of course from the diaphragm. 

7.                  Florida

            I don’t know that the state of Florida was my Mom’s favorite, but she couldn’t shake the connection.  Her Mom and Dad visited Florida in the winter and eventually bought a house in Florida.  Her Dad died in Florida. My Mom and Dad went on their honeymoon to Florida. I was in a hotel last week looking across Biscayne Bay at Miami Beach thinking about the fact that she was in the hospital and thinking about how different Miami Beach looked now from when she was there.  I think she still has a pair of long green gloves she wore on her honeymoon.  She endured Christmas vacations to Florida with four kids and my Dad stuffed into a station wagon.  It would have been easier to leave us all at home, but family was important and that didn’t happen.  I was influenced by the Florida connection and went to college in Florida, and ended up staying.  My brother and his family also live in Florida. She liked Florida a lot better when her grandchildren were there.

            Her last time visit to Florida was for Tara and Eli’s wedding.  Ironically the wedding was in May, and she was wearing the same outfit she is now so a part of Florida will remain with her.

8.  Strength/Perseverance

            She was a lot stronger than you think.  There were times when I was growing up that I thought she could be a bit of a wutz.  I didn’t realize till I got older that it takes more strength not to say the first thing that comes to your mind.  She was strong enough to raise four kids, some of whom tend toward the strong willed type A personality, and she did it without the benefit of Dr. Dobson’s book. She didn’t need to consult with anyone before doling out discipline.  I didn’t realize until I was a parent that it is hard to discipline your kids, letting them do what they want is the easy thing.

            You might have noticed that my Dad tends toward the type A personality.  She was strong enough to be an encourager when that was necessary, and when he got a little over the top we can all recall The Look and the “Now Monty…” lead in as she provided her thoughts on the matter.

            She had a lot of physical challenges during the last couple of decades, she had arthritis, but she continued to play the piano even when it was painful.  If Pastor asked her to play, and she could play, she would do it even if practicing was a challenge. 

            She had to meet the challenge of diabetes, a disease that had plagued others in her family.  She didn’t want it, didn’t like it, and was hoping to avoid it.  She didn’t spend hours whining and feeling sorry for herself, she persevered.

            She also struggled eventually with a weak heart, and she went through several heart failures.  From the time she ended up in the hospital in Charlotte until now she had more than her share of times when she fought back.  Her inner strength and will to go on carried her through things that would have stopped most others.

9.  Faith

              You have to lead by example, and my Mom’s involvement with her church and with her God were always demonstrated for us.  If my Mom said she was going to pray for you, she did.  We have all had the benefit of her prayers providing a hedge of protection around us.  The world isn’t as bright today because we lost the light of a prayer warrior.  She prayed for lots of things big and small and she always gave God credit for the things that he did.  Just like Paul, she ran the race, she fought the good fight, and she maintained her faith until the end and there is now stored up for her a crown in heaven.

10.  What can you do?

            Lots of people have asked is there anything we can do, and the answer is yes.  You can let her legacy live on.  You can honor my Mom if you will endeavor to:

1. be more appreciative,
2. build more bridges,
3. be more selfless,
4. do your best and do it right,
5. persevere and don’t whine while you do it,
6. commit to pray more for your friends and family.

If you will do these things then you would make my Mom happy and allow her legacy to continue.